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What is "Commitment"? Of all the various definitions you can find the one that I am talking about is "The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons". Let’s say for instance, you can be committed to a relationship (person), you can be committed to your health – going to the gym everyday (person and action), or you can be committed towards your house – paying off the loans (object). In its most basic form, you can describe commitment as ‘resolving to do or follow certain thing, no matter what’. But is it a burden? If so, why and how?

Commitment is Paradoxical in its nature. It can either grant you freedom or it can take away your freedom. In most instances it actually takes away your freedom and choices. Now this can be interpreted differently by different people. What is bondage to one, can be liberation to another. Let me give some examples to explain better. You buy a house. And you take a 15-year mortgage. Some may say that getting tied to your income so that installments can be paid every month is a burden. Some others may say that there is freedom to decide what you want and how you want in the house. So there is both restriction and flexibility. You get married. Your freedom to date is gone. But the love and affection you get at home is a luxury. You decide to exercise everyday in the morning. You will be free from aches and pains for a long time but you will lose out on precious moments, time, and money. I hope you understand the different facets of commitment that I am trying to portray here.

So, why is it a burden? Commitment in any form ties you down to certain things. There is a portion of your brain (mind) that gets stuck with the notion and loses any freedom, flexibility and creativity. To put it in better words, life becomes routine, monotonous, and a checklist. Really? Look at the world and the number of different experiences it has to offer. From traveling around the world, to trying different foods, to working in different professions, to living in different places, to undertaking several ventures, so on and so on. If you are committed to be a vegetarian, there is no way you can experience the great sensation of eating the different cuisines they show on the food network (case in point, yours truly). If you are bound by your mortgage forget about spending some relaxing time and enjoyable break working as a Barista. If you have children, forget about traveling to certain destinations as and when you want. Sure you get a house, a well paid job, and cute children, but hey! How long do these things last? A house can become too big or too small or even boring after a while. The well paid job is going to suck the energy out of you and will keep you tied up until you retire. And children, well the jury is open on this one also (just like in the other arguments). If you are unhappy about something today look back and see what decisions you took in the past. You will often see that you committed to something, consciously or unconsciously, that you should not have to.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that commitment is for losers or that commitment should not be made. It is commitment that gives us purpose, a direction, and a chance to make this life more meaningful. Aah, the paradoxical nature of commitment. The answer lies in the very nature of commitment we make. Commitment to all that is mentioned above is fine when made at the right time and in the right spirit. Explaining this aspect provides a challenge. Every human being is a collection of his/her own experiences. What seems evident to one may not be as clear to another. Hence, any argument made towards the aforementioned statements stands to meet a lot of resistance. I will try and then provide my advice to resistors. You are a young man and ready to move into the real world. Explore your mindset. Understand clearly what is it that you want to do. Be honest, be brutally honest. Say you decide to travel the world, work in different countries, learn various languages, and experience different cultures. Please don’t take up a job with a company that does not involve any travel, gives you 2 weeks of vacation, and has a 60 hour work week. Please don’t get married (at least for now).Think! Think! Think! Continue as long as you can go on without feeling any guilt or whatever feeling that shrinks your consciousness. You want to buy a house. Do you have enough savings that can be used to pay off the mortgage when you want to. What if you lose your job? What if you have a divorce? Please don’t buy a house and let the house be your owner.

I would ask my resistors to go over my arguments a few time and then take some time to observe their own life and evaluating their decisions. It is very easy to fall into the trap of "Confirmation Bias". Observe such tendencies. In order to avoid that, challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to listen and read various points of views. Avoid getting frustrated. This line of thinking may not make you feel good but at the same time realize that you now have the knowledge to take further actions judiciously. Read good books such as – Value-Focused Thinking: A Path to Creative Decisionmaking and Thinkertoys: A Handbook of Creative-Thinking Techniques. If you are open to reading scriptures, get a copy of ‘Vasistha’s Yoga’.

I can go on and on about this topic and give numerous examples in order to explain myself further. But unfortunately it is a blog post and I have already exceeded the ideal size limit. So will rest the matter for now.

We have learnt a number of bidding strategies in class and many a times the best strategy in most bidding scenarios is to know the value that you assign to the item being auctioned. It should be true when you are buying a house too. But, do you bid for a house even when there is no auction?

When purchasing a house, your real estate agent may show you a house and will tell you the list price. Typically, you will give a counter-offer which will be less than list price. You will hope that the  owner will either accept or negotiate some amount in between your amount and the list price. In this case you may be assuming that the owner understands prisoner’s dilemma and will act in the best interest of both parties (you and him) and that you will respond accordingly. But in our assumption we tend to forget that there is another player in the game who needs to maximize his returns as well – the realtor. There may be instances where he will drag you into a bidding game without you being aware of the situation. And then, you may get carried away.

One common strategy that realtors employ is that of finding another prospective buyer and them pitching you against them. Psychologically you will be expected to get desperate to win and get the house because you have by now developed an affiliation for it (To understand this concept better, do read my highly recommended Influence: Science and Practice). It is very important that you truly estimate what your ZOPA (Zone Of Possible Agreement) is and what your final limit is.

A good article that talks about such realtor strategies and how to defend yourself against being dragged into bidding, read this article by a real estate agent herself, Alison Rogers.